Wednesday, September 22, 2010

At Odds

Time. How we spend our time? Are we concentrating on the essential, the critical? How do we choose? Lately I'm finding it so hard to find time to write. I'm really enjoying participating in the new memes I've found, but in the last week, I haven't had time to visit all of the other participant. So here I sit, feeling guilty for not finishing my mom stuff, and feeling guilty that wonderful writers have taken the time to visit me and leave encouraging comments, and I haven't had the time to visit them back. I hadn't thought that I'd be spending this much on-deck time with the whole homeschooling thing. It's seriously interfering with my blogging. (Yes, I said that out loud.) And it makes me feel guilty to say that out loud. That I'd rather write than parent. How does anyone do this? This is a serious question. How do you balance what you need to do for keeping yourself sane, working towards life-long goals, with the demands of the others in your life all mixed in? As someone who suffers from depression, I do know that taking care of myself is critical in making me able to care for my family. But where's the line? I'd really love to hear your thoughts on this.

10 comments:

Brian Miller said...

balance is hard at times...honestly...family first...dreams second...but the key is carving out time...most of my blogging is done in the mornign before the fam gets up and at night when they are in bed...and i write on my lunch hour...

Rayna M. Iyer said...

I definitely do not have the answers, Tina. But one thing I do know. Everybody needs Me-time to remain sane. How long that me-time should be, only you know. And what you do in the me-time is for you to decide. If blogging is your me-time, it is in everyone's interest to let you get that time.
But having said that, worrying about not visiting all the blogs that you "should" visit is a no-no. Guilt should not play into me-time at all, nor should duty of another kind, because the moment blogging becomes a duty, it is no longer me-time- it is just something new claiming your time.

My name is PJ. said...

Everything in moderation is truly key.

5thsister said...

Hey! Are you sure you aren't me, because you certainly sound like me!

Like Brian, I usually get up early just to write and do my computer time. Then I would steal time while the kids did their lessons. Now I am in the middle of major life changes and much of my time is spent dealing with those issues. Oh, and sleep...that's all I want to do right now (one of the side effects that should go away soon)

I believe you have already received brilliant advice and I will be following your comments section so that I, too, can glean this wonderful, sage advice. Take care Tina and don't you dare feel obligated to visit me! :o)

J. Kwiatkowski said...

I get up an hour or two before anyone else, to read blogs, bid on freelance work, promote, promote, promote, and book us on art fairs and conventions. Then I do the mom stuff all day, and I try not to think about any of the art stuff. Then after the kids are in bed, I do the actual artwork until I get too tired. Two days a week, after the kids are in bed, I promise myself- no work! Once you get a groove going it's not so bad.

Ellen Stewart (aka Ellie/El/e) said...

Balance? Hm, right now I'm working more than I should so we can keep our house. My husband was let go right after we were married, and he's been struggling valiantly ever since (three years) to produce an income. So I teach and tutor. The balance is us not being so exhausted we forget we're married!

Flippant? I don't mean to be, just in a rush.

Cheryl said...

I don't know where your particular line is but I crossed mine a long time ago. I ignored it, pushed through, and got more and more unhappy.

Brian, Rayna, and PJ said it best. I wish I could do moderation. I can't. I hope you find your balance point in all of this.

purejoy said...

i'm struggling with this, too. and with a husband that is not understanding of this "other life" i have makes it hard… and almost makes me feel guilty for cultivating OL friendships… but then i get over it. i need this outlet, and i need this community. i've seen too many awesome things to not think that God is all over this internet thing, too.

balance… i don't know how you find it. the school year is early yet. you'll find your groove. i'm sure there are activities that your boys can be engaged in that don't take your full attention and you can sporadically tend to the needs you have.
juggling isn't fun… but a necessary part of motherhood. praying you feel at peace with all of these pieces soon.

AmyLK said...

For me, family first. I am fortunate that I have some down time at work when I can visit. You can't beat yourself up over not coming to see others in the Blogsphere. We all struggle with time for our families, ourselves and our blogging buddies. Every one has to find the balance that works for their families.

Amanda said...

I wish I had the answers. It's always hard to find the right balance. Do you remember the example of putting stones into a jar? If you put sand and gravel into your jar first, the larger stones won't fit, but if you put the essential stones in first, the sand gravel finds a way to fit in all the left over little spaces. I guess the hardest question for me is: which things are the large stones, and what is sand and gravel?