Celebrate the Small Things ~ On the Road to Contentment

Last week I met a new to me blogger, VikLit of Scribblings of an Aspiring Author through DL Hammon's Blog Blitz. I'd seen her weekly “Celebrate the Small Things” blog hop all over the place, and now found the founder!  I'm joining in, because it fits so well with my word of the year focus on CONTENTMENT.  

This week I'm celebrating the work I've done on straightening out our finances. We've done Financial Peace University TWICE, yet it seems that every few years we need to do a re-set and basically kick ourselves in the rear and start behaving responsibly with our money. Lots of unplanned expenses lately (which if you've been reading Life is Good even for a little while you're familiar with them...I let it all hang out ;-) 

I'm happy to say we've found some great software that's really helping. It's called YNAB which is You Need A Budget. Yes, yes we do. So far we're liking the 34 (what's up with 34?) day free trial very much and will most likely buy it.

I'm also celebrating some victories in my continual battle with my body image. Some of you know my history (anorexia – there, said it out loud again – and every time I do it gets easier).  I don't like being this size. I struggle constantly with food. 

Alcoholics “get” to just quit drinking. Not saying that's easy AT ALL. My point though is that we can't quit food cold turkey. Well, we can, been there done that and that's the problem...Food is constantly there as a source of stress. My success is that I'm feeling good about my weight for the first time in a long time.  

Maybe the weird combination of meds keeping me breathing is helping me in some way. All I know is that I'm wearing jeans that haven't fit me since 2010. I wasn't going to say anything to anyone, but hey, it's celebration day, so there you go. (To read more about me and this topic here.)

I'm also celebrating my wonderful kids and all they've done for me lately. They have really stepped up and done all their chores and most of mine, and mostly cheerfully. 

Yesterday The Transporter had a very difficult job to do to get his mother to her friend's new apartment. Elevators out of order...four flights of stairs for asthma girl not a possibility...but he (and Mr. Maintenance) found a way to get me up there! (I know you're going to be wondering...we got let into the residents parking garage and drove up to her floor, well as close as we could get anyway and that was enough.) He did all that while carrying a vase of flowers. 

OYT is going on his first overnight youth retreat this weekend which is a huge step for a shy guy and I'm so proud of him.

What are you celebrating this week? Since it's an ongoing, weekly hop, you can join too! Or just leave me your celebration in the comments so I can cheer with you!

~Tina

National Worm Hole Day: Dr. Who's Cassandra

I have been given a once-in-lifetime opportunity by Stephen Tremp, (A-Z Co-Host again) to SAFELY traverse a wormhole (AND return) for one opportunity. Just one.

His partners in this adventure are Laura Eno, Luanne Smith, and Carrie Butler, who made our great badge.  Thanks to all for organizing this.  

Any Dr. Who fans out there? Our whole family watches it, but I guess because of who I am and what I think about, I found the Cassandra episodes the most...thought provoking. As a recovering anorexic, I couldn't help but latch on to the symbolism of what society had become by the end of the universe.

I suppose a little catch-up is necessary...since I know not all cool people are die-hard sci-fan like we are, let me tell you that Dr. Who is a Time Lord, the very last of his race, and he travels through time and space in a “ship” called a Tardis. From the outside it looks like a blue police call box, but like in Harry Potter books, the inside is much bigger than the outside. His job is to keep the world from ending at the wrong time. Yeah, I wouldn't take the job either.

One of the times they keep returning to is the end of the universe (hmmm....can't imagine why that would interest anyone...) and they keep finding Cassandra. She has become as thin as possible. She is a piece of skin, stretched tight, and has to be misted to keep from drying out. Yet she's happy. She has achieved ultimate “thinhood”, something all of us anorexics long for.

In the episode I'm thinking about, the Doctor takes her back in time, waaaay back to when she looked like she was a human, and shows her hosting a dinner party. IMDB won't give up any of those pictures, (though all the rest of the photo credits go to them) but here's her face, 

and imagine the body to match.  As the doctor is sitting with her as she dies, she says,

"I was really beautiful, wasn't I.”

“Yes, Cassandra, you were. You just didn't know it.”

“Thank you for showing me this before I go.”

I don't remember what happened next because of course my family (of men) is worrying about if the sonic screwdriver will fix the thingamajig long enough to let them get the Tardis back from the end of time vortex to...wherever they were going.

Me? I'm looking at flat Cassandra, about a millimeter thick, and how she thought she'd achieved beauty. And then looking at real Cassandra throwing a dinner party and having a good time. 

So for my trip through the worm hole, I'd go back to myself before I went all nuts, and tell myself I look beautiful. Just the way I was, when I was 14, a size 3, a successful gymnast, with my whole life ahead of me. I'd also tell myself NO.  Do not let what anyone else thinks of your looks influence what YOU think about your looks.  Because looks don't matter. 

We are not the costume we walk around in.  We are what is in our hearts.  Love to those of you out there who really know what I'm talking about.

~Tina

Monstrous Monday Blog Hop!

Monsters. There are scary monsters, silly monsters, classic monsters, imaginary monsters. I'm going to write about the monster that stalks me daily. Let's see if you can guess who it is.

My monster has the power to alter what I see in the mirror. I get a skewed picture.

My monster makes me think about it every waking second of every day. I cannot escape. Ordinary tasks, ordinary events of the day take on epic proportion as I battle it. It's the center of my universe, and likes it there.

If I try to hide, it finds me.

It finds me in jeans that are a bit tight.

It finds me questioning every bite of food I put in my mouth.

It whispers in my ear that I can finally have back what I haven't had in so long.

Control.

It sings a siren song of solution to all my troubles.

If only I were thinner, then...

I might not have high blood pressure

I might not have asthma

He might pay more attention to me

I'd be able to get more done

I wouldn't be depressed

I wouldn't be in pain

I'd...

It's all there, all for the taking, if I just take back the control. It's really about control, and not so much about food.

Have you guessed?

Anorexia.

I was never a cook. I mean, when all you eat in a month is maybe one piece of plastic wrapped American cheese from your roommate's shelf in the fridge, why bother learning sauteing or double boilers or how to soft-boil an egg you'd never let past your lips?

I'm different now. I love to cook. I love to eat. I'm healthier, recent asthma bout not counting. This is the body that climbed the fourteener. This is the body that rode the MS 150 from Denver to Canyon City. (That's 150 miles away, just by way of explanation.) This body carried two high risk pregnancies.

So what's my problem? Anorexia is like alcoholism. You can be a behaving anorexic, or an active one. I'm behaving. But on those days when the jeans are a little tight and life is a bit out of control (those high risk pregnancies are now two teenage boys) I long for the control. The euphoria of extreme hunger and the will-power to overcome it.

I know it's hard to understand unless you've walked the road yourself. But it's an evil monster, and when you see it stalking those you love, it puts you on alert. Moms – please don't ever mention weight to your daughter no matter what. Praise her for her wonderful qualities, let her eat what she wants, and remember that one CarelessWord can start a cycle that will never end.

Ok, probably not the sort of monster you were expecting, but you can visit Tim Brannan at and get all the info. Meanwhile, it's a blog hop, so hop on over to one of the other participants you'll find on the list below.