Monday, September 19, 2011

Worst Movies Ever Blogfest

My good buddy Alex J. Cavanaugh is hosting another party. Simple ~ list your 10 worst movies. It's sorta like a public service announcement: watch out for these. Legions of bloggers have found them to be so bad that they're not even worthy of making fun of. Sci-fi fans know that is a category of movies all of its own. For that list, we need a different party. (But I do have to say that one of the very best of these is Tremors. C'mon, it's got KEVIN BACON, AND giant, man-eating worms. and we all now how relevant the Kevin Bacon degree is...) So without further yammering, or ado, I present:

  1. Two of a Kind with John Travolta and Olivia Newton John.
    We actually walked out, even though we were on a first date, doubling with my best friend and his best friend, who coincidentally were dating. If this sounds familiar, you must have read, “The Tuba Player and the Clarinetist”. This was my first date with The Engineer. We've been married 19 years.

  2. Speed 2.
    If you've seen it, this needs no explanation. If you haven't, DON'T.

  3. Labyrinth.
    I was completely inebriated, and still couldn't sit through it.

  4. Any of the numerous Pokemon movies my children have made me watch. Yes, they have that power. It's called Boys' Night and you can learn more about why I would subject myself to such atrocities in that post.

  5. Ponyo
    Any movie where you fall asleep of boredom while watching a boy and his goldfish, only to wake-up and find that the goldfish has now transformed into a toddler girl is just too freaky for me.

  6. Mission Impossible 2 Too many masks, Tom's hair is too long, and I lost ten years of my life watching him free climb that big rock.

Six is what you're getting from me. I blew out my knee this weekend (that would be the knee I already had scoped in college from a skiing accident but have been relying on as my “good” side while my “bad” side awaits hip replacement) and am feeling sorry for myself here in my bed. Going to go drown myself in Hell's Kitchen. At least there someone else is in pain...

If you'd like more warnings of hazardous to your movie-watching time sorry flicks, check out the rest of the lists over at Alex's.