Monday, July 8, 2013

Roller Derby Therapy

Roller Derby is damn good therapy. I've been a whiny, soggy mess since my procedures, doing a really spectacular job of feeling sorry for myself and wallowing in self-pity. Then a friend DRAGGED me to a roller derby match and I'm feeling remarkably better. Roller derby is like no other show on Earth...

My friend from Sunday School has been a big support to me, checking in via text several times a week. It's always nice to know someone is thinking of you. So I get this text on Friday afternoon:

Would you consider doing something kinda crazy with me tomorrow night?”

At first I think hell no, I want to lie in my bed, watch cooking and knit. But I answer,

Depends on how close the porta-potties are...I used to be a let's go crazy girl...”

Roller derby, indoors, at the county fairgrounds.”

We make plans. I follow through. We have some good-natured text banter before she picks me up about which Harley she's driving and if it's too hot for my leathers, at which point she confesses MINIVAN. I counter with PRISON VAN, but we end up settling for minivan and the fact that I have a tattoo.

The spectators at roller derby are some of the best people watching you will find. ANY form of clothing (or lack thereof) is acceptable. The Derby girls, our team being the Boulder County Bombers, wear fishnet stockings (in all shades...even rainbow), tiny, tiny shorts, tank tops with their derby name, and lots of safety gear.

Derby names must be unique to each player and there is a worldwide registry so that you don't take someone else's clever idea. They range from puns to raunchy. Here are a few of the tamer examples:
34D Threat
A1 Saucy
Georgia O'Grief
Miso Bad
Pink Flamengo

You get the idea. What you might not know is that there IS strategy to the game. There are jammers (who score the points) and the other four players play both offense (trying to clear a path for their jammer to lap the other and hence score) and defense (trying to block the opposing jammer from doing the same). Bouts are played in short “jams”, about two minutes long, and there are two halves, about 30 minutes each. The clock stops a lot for infractions.

It's a blast to watch – fast-moving, and it takes 14 referees (not kidding, I took a picture) (I took all the pictures: photo credit: me) to keep it all legal. They have “time out” just like ice-hockey. Of course there's pushing and shoving, but there are rules about which body parts can be used for this. 

(that would be the referees being sworn in before the match)

(that's the opposing team, we were behind their bench)

All in all, a completely enjoyable experience. I highly recommend it if you have the means and opportunity.  After all, as you can see, it's open to girls of ALL sizes.


Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Any kind of clothing or not is acceptable - that is a really scary thought here in the South.
Glad you went for it and had a good time.

Lucy said...

We knew a young lady that played and wanted us to go to a game, we never had the chance but some other of our friends went and they said what you said, it is a definitely a good time.
Most importantly I am so glad YOU had a fun time :)

Lucy from Lucy's Reality

Brian Miller said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Brian Miller said...

ha. fun. one of my blog friends competes in it...and she has some pretty crazy stories...have not been to see it in a very long time..

Jo said...

Never been but would like to do so. I am glad you found it uplifting for your spirits. Now you should try sky diving LOL

JoJo said...

I remember seeing roller derby on TV in the 70s. I heard it was making a comeback! It looks brutal to me! I think I'd get really injured if I tried it. lol

Andrew Leon said...

Have you seen Whip It?

We have a local team and have talked about going to watch them but have never managed to do it. I should check into that again.

CA Heaven said...

I've never seen a roller derby match, but I read in the local newspaper that the university students have started a team in our town. And I like girls of all sizes, so it might be worth watching >;)

Cold As Heaven

klahanie said...

Hey Tina,

I'm delighted, despite your health concerns, you got out there and had fun. Well done, dear friend.

Roller Derby, suddenly I'm thinking of Raquel Welch.

Nice one, Tina.


Jeremy [Retro] said...

i am all smiles, for this.. and for being back on this site on a sneaky full-time basis.

Kate @ Another Clean Slate said...

I would love to see a match sometime! So cool!!!

Unknown said...

That's awesome!! Might have to check out a bout or two:)

Sue McPeak said...

That's what good friends do...Drag you to places where before you know it...You've Snapped Out of It! Good for you and good for your good friend. Keep up your good spirits....Life IS Good!!!

Sue CollectInTexasGal~Today's Post~
Baby's Pink and Blue...It's A Test of Time

jenn said...

so this part:
“Would you consider doing something kinda crazy with me tomorrow night?”

At first I think hell no, I want to lie in my bed, watch cooking and knit. But I answer,

“Depends on how close the porta-potties are..."

i think i liked it the best. :]

shelly said...

Glad you had fun. The distract manager for where I work participates in roller derby.

Hugs and chocolate,

Silvia Writes said...

Anything that's such good therapy is perfect, in my mind. Good for you.

Hilary Melton-Butcher said...

Hi Tina .. that sounded like excellent therapy .. just what the doctor didn't order probably - he'd want more pain and killers and things that bubble in the tum ... but so pleased the brain got some roller derby time ..

Crumbs - one day I must have a visit .. not sure we do it here .. cheers Hilary