Have
you ever been tied up in bed? Wait...I didn't really mean it that
way. I mean, I WAS trying to get your attention, but I'm not
an adults-only blog. What I'm trying to say is: have you ever been
tethered in bed by so much medical equipment that you can't really
move so sleeping is elusive?
That
happens in hospitals, of course. IV, blood pressure cuff, blood ox
monitor, those impossibly sticky things with buttons on them for the
heart monitor wires to be connected, maybe you're even on oxygen.
That scenario describes me last time I was hospitalized.
IF
you can sleep (given enough drugs to counteract the other strong
drugs that make you hyper like crazy) then you still have to deal
with them coming to check your vitals every half hour. Um, aren't
you CONSTANTLY checking my vitals with all that equipment? Oh, you
have to make patient contact. In the middle of the night. Thanks.
Maybe you manage to go back to sleep for (at most half an hour) but
you're still all hooked up and those cords and cuffs (might as well
be handcuffs...) (nope, still not an adults-only blog) don't make it
easy to find a comfortable position. It's maddening, especially
since they tell you to “get lots of rest so you can heal.” Maybe
if they cooperated...
I
had to be tethered last night. I of course always have the ever so
comfortable CPAP and its hose, which I have to tuck in just the right
way behind my pillow so that I'm not strangled if I roll over. In
addition, they need ANOTHER, as in I've been through this particular
torture before, overnight oxygen study.
This
means I have to have that clippy thing on my finger, which is
attached to a box (supposed to be attached) that records the data.
To get the clippy thing to stay on my finger, I have to wrap my hand
with that self-sticking athletic tape-stuff. So there I am,
connected to a hose connected to a machine on my bedside table, and
my hand connected to another machine which is quite heavy so I put it
under my pillow so it won't slide off the bed, make a big clunk, pull
the clippy thing off my finger, and wake me up.
Forget
rolling over. I'd have to loosen the pillow's grip on the hose, pick
up the box, find a new place for it, re-tuck the CPAP hose, and try
to find a comfortable spot for my hand, within reach of the box
(about 10 inches). Not worth the trouble. So I make myself
semi-comfortable, and will myself to both sleep and not move.
Doesn't
work. I wake up around 3 am for a bathroom break and go to pick up
the box to bring it with me (easier than having to re-wrap my hand,
which I needed help for) but I can't find the box. Clippy thing
still attached...but no box. I search. Still no box. I abandon
search because I realize that they need at least 6 hours of data, and
when I went to bed I was going to barely make it. Now I have no idea
how long I've been unplugged, so the 6 hours is out. I'm mad. All
that for nothing.
(clippy thing, cord, self-sticking athletic tape-stuff, still no box, I'd need to turn on the light and that would wake up The Engineer who is STILL sleeping, not that I resent that or anything...)
It
also means that I get to do all of this again, tonight. If I can
find the darn box...
Gots
any good medical stories for me? Been tethered? How's your
night-time blood oxygen?
~Tina
