For
the summer, once a week I'll be sharing a story from my college days
at CSU, 1984-1988. I will leave links at the end of each post for
previous episodes.
(Mom and Dad,
another post to read at your own risk of bursting the bubble of whom
you though I was in college...)
The
Cheerleader, our suite mate, taught Mary Jo and me to snorkel one
Saturday, right before a football game. (There are links below to
previous episodes if you want to get caught up and you don't even
need to wait for the whole season to be released on Netflix!) It was
the only time I ever went snorkeling of this particular nature.
Snorkeling on Kauai is much more fun and so much better for your
liver...
First,
you need the right glass. I considered drawing a picture and
thought, “Hey, you could totally find one online! That way if
anyone reading this is inclined to get completely drunk in about 10
minutes, then they can order one here!” Back then, kids,
the internet was called going to the library and yeah, you could so
not get a snorkeling glass there.
The
football game was at noon, and she had talked for DAYS about how her
friend had finally followed through on a two year old promise - getting Tara her
own snorkel glass. We had to learn, and now, because then we would
be able to watch the game buzzed.
We were 18, drinking age 21 for
anything except 3.2% (by weight) beer. It was about 10:30 am, and as
one of the cheerleaders, she only had a few minutes to teach us
before she had to report for warm-ups.
Let me share how this special glass is used.
Pretend you are making a mixed drink. Pour the non-alcoholic part in
the bottom of the glass, then pour the alcohol at the top of the
glass. It floats, and they don't mix. I was going to look up density
and all that science stuff but you can if you want to know why, but
you can see in the picture how they're separate.
The
idea then is to drink the whole glass like your chugging a small
soda. You don't taste the rum going down, and then you're just
drinking pepsi. Turns out that I did it perfectly my fist time.
Mary Jo had many more problems, because if you don't drink the whole
thing all at once, it does combine and then you DO have a mixed drink
which inexperienced drinkers can't just chug. It took her a long
time to finish her 1st drink, which we made her pour into
something else if she was going to take so long.
We
needed that glass back! So I, the very inexperienced drinker
snorkeled three time. Tara four. I don't know why
she thought this was wise considering what I'd already watched her do
during games.
I don't know why I found it wise to drink so early in
the morning. Three drinks in ten or so minutes is a lot for anyone.
Let's call it peer pressure. Then I'll admit that I have free will
and did this to myself, and went and lay on my bed for a while.
My
study buddy/Rocky Horror friends came to pick me up for the game (I
was asleep) and asked me why I was so drunk. I said snorkeling.
They said, “So have you learned your lesson?” I assured them I
had.
They took me, fed me, and said “There there” when I began
to sober up and start to feel... not so normal...They made sure I got to my
room, where I promptly went to bed, having no idea if Tara fell off
the top of the pyramid, could still stand on the guys hands, or do
her back-handsprings.and no idea where MJ (Mary Jo) was. At least I wasn't
locked out of my room.
Next
time I snorkeled was in 1996, in Kauia, no alcohol involved.
~Tina,
who learned a lesson the first time for probably the only
time in my life...
©2014
All Rights Reserved
Photo credits snorkel glass
Real snorkeling, Swissie or Windex, not sure who took it. That's me at the top of the picture ;-) with the Engineer.
Episode 6: Marvelous Marble
Episode 7: I Don't Hate My Laptop Quite as Much
Episode 8: My Days as a Rocky Horror Picture Show Fan
