Wednesday, December 18, 2013

The Promised Excerpt

Mom, they kicked us out. Said we weren't old enough.”
That's ridiculous,” she says, never taking her eyes off the chess board.

And Tim says he feels weird. And I'm kinda scared. I don't feel so hot myself.”

Excuse me, Clarence while I deal with my kids.”

She turns to look at the boys and grows instantly still. Jace has short hair, not the unkempt mop he so loves, his zits are all gone, and his clothes look many sizes too big. Tim looks ready to cry, while holding onto his shorts, with a t-shirt that reaches his knees.

This is from the middle section of the story I'm working on.  

Remember, this is for Briane Pagel, who has like forty-seven blogs, but I'll link you to the page where he, in excruciating detail (he's a lawyer),  explains the contest on his blog “lit”. 

Perhaps your competitive streak has been awakened and you want to join me. Brian Miller is apparently up for the challenge, and Andrew Leon of StrangePegs (another not to be missed blog) threatened me with boxing gloves.  I pulled out OYT's sword and shield 

See, no worries, I can totally hold that heavy sucker with THAT handle and strap

and he ran off for other weapons.  We'll probably settle on nerf...but there's a battle a ragin' and you don't want to miss the fun.  I'm thinking if it ends up nerf, I still have an advantage.  This is part of OYT's arsenal. 

It won't all fit on the peg board...



Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

Can we fight with real swords? How about with a Klingon Bat'leth?
The boys grew younger - intriguing!

Anonymous said...

I can certainly see that the words were flowing readily and well in your story, Tina! Can't wait to read the rest of it.

Now, about your weapons…they have really cool designer duct tape these days. I think you need to throw them off, by making your with some of that pink, flowery, girlie stuff. They'll be so busy laughing, they might not even see you charge :) And of course, we'll all want to see pictures on this blog!

Unknown said...

Great, you have me hooked so I have to come back to get more!
The more Duct Tape the better!

Brian Miller said...

ha. i have yet to join the battle talks you know...ha...i am rolling on stories right now though so i will be prepping something for that side of the house soon...maybe my story from today...hmmm....

Brian Miller said...

hey alex, i have a real bat'leth!

Andrew Leon said...

Oh, you have not seen our stock of Nerf weapons! Not only do we have ranged weapons, we have Nerf melee weapons, too.

JoJo said...

I'm intrigued by the excerpt! You want some heavy swords, Russell has 2 that are 5' tall and very heavy.

Jo said...

Best I can offer is an epée. What the devil is nerf?

Interesting excerpt. Way to go.

OYT sound dangerous.

shelly said...

LOL! Loved your excerpt.

Chocolate hugs!

~Sia McKye~ said...

Ah-HA! Yet another use for duct tape, lol!

One should really keep kids away from the fountain of youth. Well, at least until I can get into it.

Sia McKye Over Coffee

Silvia Writes said...

The excerpt grabbed my attention. Dealing with kids ... hmmm... such a pain sometimes. Intimidating weapons. Very smart that it can be used as a shield and hiding place for more weapons.

klahanie said...

Hi Tina,

Your excerpt most certainly brings one wanting to find out more. Your writing flow is good. However, may I be so bold as to note that a couple of run-on sentences can slightly weaken the impact.

Take care, my friend.

Gary :)

Hilary Melton-Butcher said...

Hi Tina .. good take on modern day battles a la home ... stories that flow with duct tape ...

You've got lots of extra offers of weapons ... sounds crazy fun .. just don't trip!

Happy organisations .. I know you've lots going on .. enjoy the days - Hilary