Tied Up in Bed

Have you ever been tied up in bed? Wait...I didn't really mean it that way. I mean, I WAS trying to get your attention, but I'm not an adults-only blog. What I'm trying to say is: have you ever been tethered in bed by so much medical equipment that you can't really move so sleeping is elusive?

That happens in hospitals, of course. IV, blood pressure cuff, blood ox monitor, those impossibly sticky things with buttons on them for the heart monitor wires to be connected, maybe you're even on oxygen. That scenario describes me last time I was hospitalized.

IF you can sleep (given enough drugs to counteract the other strong drugs that make you hyper like crazy) then you still have to deal with them coming to check your vitals every half hour. Um, aren't you CONSTANTLY checking my vitals with all that equipment? Oh, you have to make patient contact. In the middle of the night. Thanks. Maybe you manage to go back to sleep for (at most half an hour) but you're still all hooked up and those cords and cuffs (might as well be handcuffs...) (nope, still not an adults-only blog) don't make it easy to find a comfortable position. It's maddening, especially since they tell you to “get lots of rest so you can heal.” Maybe if they cooperated...

I had to be tethered last night. I of course always have the ever so comfortable CPAP and its hose, which I have to tuck in just the right way behind my pillow so that I'm not strangled if I roll over. In addition, they need ANOTHER, as in I've been through this particular torture before, overnight oxygen study.

This means I have to have that clippy thing on my finger, which is attached to a box (supposed to be attached) that records the data. To get the clippy thing to stay on my finger, I have to wrap my hand with that self-sticking athletic tape-stuff. So there I am, connected to a hose connected to a machine on my bedside table, and my hand connected to another machine which is quite heavy so I put it under my pillow so it won't slide off the bed, make a big clunk, pull the clippy thing off my finger, and wake me up.

Forget rolling over. I'd have to loosen the pillow's grip on the hose, pick up the box, find a new place for it, re-tuck the CPAP hose, and try to find a comfortable spot for my hand, within reach of the box (about 10 inches). Not worth the trouble. So I make myself semi-comfortable, and will myself to both sleep and not move.

Doesn't work. I wake up around 3 am for a bathroom break and go to pick up the box to bring it with me (easier than having to re-wrap my hand, which I needed help for) but I can't find the box. Clippy thing still attached...but no box. I search. Still no box. I abandon search because I realize that they need at least 6 hours of data, and when I went to bed I was going to barely make it. Now I have no idea how long I've been unplugged, so the 6 hours is out. I'm mad. All that for nothing.

(clippy thing, cord, self-sticking athletic tape-stuff, still no box, I'd need to turn on the light and that would wake up The Engineer who is STILL sleeping, not that I resent that or anything...)

It also means that I get to do all of this again, tonight. If I can find the darn box...

Gots any good medical stories for me? Been tethered? How's your night-time blood oxygen?

~Tina

Dream a Little Dream...

I've been wearing a CPAP machine since the end of June. I think we've finally become reluctant friends, or at least declared a cease-fire.

In case you missed my incessant whining about it, you can read “SCUBA, Anyone?” and “Why I'm No Longer Going to Colonize Mars”. Basically, it plays into my claustrophobia, and my extreme fear of drowning. I had nightmares (at first) about both of those events and would wake up hyperventilating, which is kinda hard to do when air is being forced down your throat. I'm a champion panicker though, so I managed.

After a while, as I was getting used to it, my dreams changed to me being assigned impossible tasks and working on them all night long. If I woke up and then went back to sleep, I'd be back in the same dream, at the same place I left, still having to complete the hideous task.

Have you ever run a daycare with too many children to count who were not allowed to take naps and the cars you had to transport them places were all rusted out with no car seats?

Or how about catering a large affair for 200 people, in a cooking competition (we do know where THAT part of the dream came from) and all the other teams have assistants, but you're all alone to cook and serve just as efficiently as the others. Wow, that was a LONG night. I never did get all the plates done and was actually glad when the alarm went off at 5 am.

However, a couple of nights ago, I had a really strange dream that kept shifting genre. It was a shorter dream, and it kept starting over, with me playing a different role each time. At first I helped kidnap a bus driver, then the next time I helped the bus driver escape. The third iteration, the bus driver and I were falling in love, and by the fourth time, we were married with an adorable little boy.

When the alarm went off that next morning, I was almost melancholy to let it go. That boy felt like a real son and as I was coming to consciousness, I just felt the ache of leaving him behind and entering my real world. Of course, I did eventually wake up fully and realized that my own kids were needing me to keep them on track for the “get ready for school” three ring circus. I shook it off as I took off my mask and went on with my day.

What's your weirdest dream? Care to interpret mine that just kept changing? Have you ever just wanted to just stay in the dream you were having?

~Tina

Why I'm No Longer Going to Colonize Mars

I think I've changed my mind on the whole going to colonize Mars question. I don't think I want to go anymore.  The Engineer and I watched probably THE most stupid movie of all time (well, nothing can really beat Speed 2 for stupidest, so I guess 2^nd stupidest then) on Sunday night. It's called Stranded. I hate to advertise for it, but I do want to save you the pain, the horror, the total and utter boredom so I'm naming it. In addition, if you wear a CPAP machine, this is SO NOT the movie for you.

In a previous post, I compared wearing a CPAP to SCUBA diving.  I think I've found an even better analogy. It's like wearing a space suit and going EVA – Extra Vehicular Activity – as in out of the space ship. Watching them get all zipped up and strapped in, loading the oxygen tanks, and closing the lids on their helmets, all was a build-up of claustrophobia for me.

Then they switch to what you hear when you're inside a space suit. It sounds JUST like what you hear when wearing a CPAP mask. That Darth Vader in and out with pressure and wheezing air. I'd tried to explain it to The Engineer, but he couldn't remember any SCUBA movies, or the associated sound, so he didn't really get my explanation. Once I heard it from inside the space suit, I paused the movie to proclaim, “That's it! That's what it sounds like in a CPAP!”

He was surprised. “Really? It sounds that bad? No wonder you freak out when you put on your mask. Does it stop?” Um, no, not unless you're asleep...

So here's my advice, for movie watchers and for CPAP wearers. Don't watch Stranded. If you wear a CPAP, don't watch movies with space suits, and people who suffocate in them s l o w l y  while running out of oxygen and you get to watch the whole thing. Several times. This is like one of those teenage run-into-the-woods-when-the-killer-is-coming type deals. One by one...

What movies freak you out? Do you have any phobias, or is it just me?

Solar Panels Are Silent

Going camping with The Engineer isn't the same as going camping with other (as in “normal”) people. The Engineer doesn't have generators to re-charge the camper's batteries, he has a solar panel. 

What? You can't see it?  Good.  It's camo.  Follow the yellow extension cord...

There are distinct advantages to camping this way.  Generally, campgrounds have posted hours for when you're allowed to fire up your diesel-powered loud as all get-out stinky generators so that you can watch your satellite TV, use your microwave, and probably other luxuries requiring electricity which are the activities I go camping to get away from. I really don't understand these people who fire up theirs at the minute they're allowed in order to microwave their breakfast.

Full, bright, free, QUIET sunlight re-charging our batteries

Maybe I'm a snob because we camped in tents for years, just the two of us, then with babies, who became toddlers who became small children. We didn't get our camper until the boys were 5 and 8. I'd already done the potty chair, high chair, porta-crib years, in a tent. I think I earned my camper fair and square.

I've been referring to our “rig”, so I finally took some pictures.

The camper is a 1968 Forrester, and 

The Beast is a former Department of Corrections vehicle. If you look closely at the door, you can see the outline of what used to be the identifying sticker. 

It seats 12, and still has a whole station wagon of cargo room behind the third bench. (We threw the firewood back there.) It's nice when you can separate your children by a whole bench ;-) though it's not as necessary now that they are teens. They behave reasonably well most of the time, I'm happy to say.

So how does the solar panel thing work? It has an extension cord so you can place it in maximum sun, and that connects to the solar charge circuit, which connects to the battery bank. For this trip, The Engineer even had time to install a special volt meter with a read-out. He's been very “are we there yet?” with that particular device, asking whoever happens to be able to see it at the time to report the voltage. We've teased him of course. “Hasn't changed in the last THIRTY 

SECONDS!”

OYT sure enjoyed this particular trip. He saved up a LOT of money to buy this RC truck.

The terrain right at our campsite 

couldn't have been better for “off-roading.” He even took the truck on the hike, and found a “river” to cross. (Don't try this at home kids because this one was protected by 7 man hours of waterproofing by The Engineer and son.)

I don't know how many more camping trips The Transporter is going to be willing to go on. He's jonesing for his XBOX 360, and to chat online with his friends while killing mythical monsters. A solar panel may be quiet and get the job done for us, but it won't do my CPAP and his gaming. Guess who won?

~Tina

P.S The RC part of this post was written by OYT.

P.P.S After reading this post, The Engineer would like me to add that the solar panel could CERTAINLY do both.  Not that we'd let The Transporter bring his XBOX...

SCUBA, Anyone?

I've been snorkeling, even though it's on the edge of what my claustrophobia can tolerate. All I have to do is lift my head and I'm back to oxygen through my nose and nothing pressing down on me.

I've always said that I could never go SCUBA diving, though, because I'd be too freaked out by the weight of the water over me, and the regulator, the sounds of my own breathing, and the need to ascend slowly if I should panic and want to be above water. SCUBA diving has been pretty easy for me to avoid, though. It's outrageously expensive and usually most readily available in tropical areas, and my budget has kept me away.

I go SCUBA diving every night now. I got my CPAP machine. I wear a mask. Head gear keeps it in place. I have to keep my mouth shut or the force of the air pressure gags me. I have to take deep breaths or I get all out breath and can't get enough air. The mask moves around a bit if I do, and then the condensation from the added humidity drips on my face adding to the underwater sensation.

I dream water dreams. Boats, ships, dingys. They all sink. Swimming. Water skiing, only I can't get up so they drag me under water instead. I float in a womb (a very large womb) of some alien creature and try to use sign-language to communicate with the people I see waving to me, only they never respond. I wake up. Still imprisoned by my gear.

(looks innocent enough, right?)

All those water dreams make me need to use the bathroom. Off comes all the gear and the whole process starts again. I can't go back to sleep for a while, so I lay there, breathing too fast, feeling like I'm drowning, and there's no escape. It's hard to get comfortable with all those pressure points poking your head. I wake up with red marks striping my face. (If I loosen the contraption, it leaks and makes an awful rattling noise it took me 45 minutes to fix the other night.)

(here's me being ultra-brave and putting this on the internet for you - almost as scary as drowning every night - but I trust you not to put it on your facebook page of alien creatures your children are frightened by)

They promise me wonderful health benefits: lower blood pressure, an increase in the hormone which allows weight loss, more energy from a “good” night's sleep, higher oxygen levels (mine dropped to below 72% during the sleep study), and general better well being. Not sure my psyche can handle it, because so far it's claustrophobia, stress, nightmares, and sore spots on my face.

I know Jo (see my sidebar - Jo on Food, My Travels and a Scent of Chocolate) has a CPAP and has been blogging about it.  She seems to be doing well.  Anyone else?  Any advice?  Tough it out?  Give up?  Take sleeping pills or tranquilizers?  Or just double my wine intake?  All advice welcome.  Not all will be followed...