I
think I've changed my mind on the whole going to colonize Mars question. I don't think I want to go anymore. The Engineer and I watched probably THE most
stupid movie of all time (well, nothing can really beat Speed 2 for
stupidest, so I guess 2nd stupidest then) on Sunday night.
It's called Stranded. I hate to advertise for it, but I do want to
save you the pain, the horror, the total and utter boredom so I'm
naming it. In addition, if you wear a CPAP machine, this is SO NOT
the movie for you.
In
a previous post, I compared wearing a CPAP to SCUBA diving. I think I've found an even better analogy. It's like wearing a
space suit and going EVA – Extra Vehicular Activity – as in out
of the space ship. Watching them get all zipped up and strapped in,
loading the oxygen tanks, and closing the lids on their helmets, all
was a build-up of claustrophobia for me.
Then
they switch to what you hear when you're inside a space suit.
It sounds JUST like what you hear when wearing a CPAP mask. That
Darth Vader in and out with pressure and wheezing air. I'd tried to
explain it to The Engineer, but he couldn't remember any SCUBA
movies, or the associated sound, so he didn't really get my
explanation. Once I heard it from inside the space suit, I paused
the movie to proclaim, “That's it! That's what it sounds like in a
CPAP!”
He
was surprised. “Really? It sounds that bad? No wonder you freak
out when you put on your mask. Does it stop?” Um, no, not unless
you're asleep...
So
here's my advice, for movie watchers and for CPAP wearers. Don't
watch Stranded. If you wear a CPAP, don't watch movies with space
suits, and people who suffocate in them s l o w l y while running out
of oxygen and you get to watch the whole thing. Several times. This
is like one of those teenage
run-into-the-woods-when-the-killer-is-coming type deals. One by
one...
What
movies freak you out? Do you have any phobias, or is it just me?
