Have you ever been tied up in bed? Wait...I didn't really mean it that way. I mean, I WAS trying to get your attention, but I'm not an adults-only blog. What I'm trying to say is: have you ever been tethered in bed by so much medical equipment that you can't really move so sleeping is elusive?
That happens in hospitals, of course. IV, blood pressure cuff, blood ox monitor, those impossibly sticky things with buttons on them for the heart monitor wires to be connected, maybe you're even on oxygen. That scenario describes me last time I was hospitalized.
IF you can sleep (given enough drugs to counteract the other strong drugs that make you hyper like crazy) then you still have to deal with them coming to check your vitals every half hour. Um, aren't you CONSTANTLY checking my vitals with all that equipment? Oh, you have to make patient contact. In the middle of the night. Thanks. Maybe you manage to go back to sleep for (at most half an hour) but you're still all hooked up and those cords and cuffs (might as well be handcuffs...) (nope, still not an adults-only blog) don't make it easy to find a comfortable position. It's maddening, especially since they tell you to “get lots of rest so you can heal.” Maybe if they cooperated...
I had to be tethered last night. I of course always have the ever so comfortable CPAP and its hose, which I have to tuck in just the right way behind my pillow so that I'm not strangled if I roll over. In addition, they need ANOTHER, as in I've been through this particular torture before, overnight oxygen study.
This means I have to have that clippy thing on my finger, which is attached to a box (supposed to be attached) that records the data. To get the clippy thing to stay on my finger, I have to wrap my hand with that self-sticking athletic tape-stuff. So there I am, connected to a hose connected to a machine on my bedside table, and my hand connected to another machine which is quite heavy so I put it under my pillow so it won't slide off the bed, make a big clunk, pull the clippy thing off my finger, and wake me up.
Forget rolling over. I'd have to loosen the pillow's grip on the hose, pick up the box, find a new place for it, re-tuck the CPAP hose, and try to find a comfortable spot for my hand, within reach of the box (about 10 inches). Not worth the trouble. So I make myself semi-comfortable, and will myself to both sleep and not move.
Doesn't work. I wake up around 3 am for a bathroom break and go to pick up the box to bring it with me (easier than having to re-wrap my hand, which I needed help for) but I can't find the box. Clippy thing still attached...but no box. I search. Still no box. I abandon search because I realize that they need at least 6 hours of data, and when I went to bed I was going to barely make it. Now I have no idea how long I've been unplugged, so the 6 hours is out. I'm mad. All that for nothing.
(clippy thing, cord, self-sticking athletic tape-stuff, still no box, I'd need to turn on the light and that would wake up The Engineer who is STILL sleeping, not that I resent that or anything...)
It also means that I get to do all of this again, tonight. If I can find the darn box...
Gots any good medical stories for me? Been tethered? How's your night-time blood oxygen?