Monday, January 6, 2014

I'd Rather You Break Up With Me via Text Than at The Mall

Except it was 1981 and cell phones were still a bit away.

His name (not really) was Jim Kirk, and he was my first real boyfriend, as in I kissed him. I kissed him a lot. He was a terrible kisser, but of course I didn't know that, not having had much of that experience before.

I liked him because his name sounded Swedish (um, that would be the real name) and he looked Swedish, and he liked me. It was kinda nice to be liked. I was very used to being the sorta picked on nerdy girl with the glasses, the math, the band, the GT classes.

Don't take me wrong, I really enjoyed middle school, but that was because of Project Expand (the GT thing) and the life-long friends I made. Like Smooshie. You can read about her in my last A-Z Challenge post from last year.

We'd been dating about three months when I got what I call my sinking feeling about a guy. I was to experience this many more times, but this was my first, so it took me a while to recognize it and act. I think it takes me three months to get to know a boyfriend, and then comes that feeling, and it's on to the next. I was a serial dater.

So it's Christmas, and we've gotten to my absolute favorite part which is when my Amazing Aunt Risky and my uncle and Grandma Vivian are at our house for present opening. Sacred time. Fun rituals. FAMILY time.

There's a knock at the door. Jim has dressed up in a suit (but the stupid crew cut he got still looks stupid and he was wearing a pink shirt and pink tie and man was I done with him) to come over to see me for Christmas, for a surprise. I tell him it's not a good time, it's family time, and I'll see him later.

The Swede, the one with the manners, invites him in, welcomes him warmly, introduces him to everyone who welcome him warmly and wink at me. (And I swear Aunt Risky agreed with me about the pink shirt and tie, though we never discussed it.)

I hold back the tears, and proceed to pretend to enjoy my ruined Christmas tradition. He leaves soon after wards. I get a lecture (well-deserved) from The Swede about my manners. I sulk.

Three days later I break my left wrist (that would be my now “good” wrist, the one that isn't fused.) I'm in horrid pain, my cast is too tight because they just slapped it on me in the ER, temporarily, until I could see my orthopedic specialist (yes, I had my own, remember the broken hip?) who would assess the situation. He was on vacation.

Jim invites me to THE MALL which is about ½ hour away. I've been wanting to go there for a long time. I consider the pain. I consider the mall. I consider that I no longer even like Jim. I go to the mall. (I am no longer a shopper – perhaps this was the beginning.)

We've been there 5 minutes when he breaks up with me on the escalator. “You're just not mature enough for a boyfriend.” Probably quite accurate. But why drag me out on this long outing, when I'm in hideous pain, and break up at the beginning? Was it to torture me? I was relieved to be rid of him, but man, I was mad about the dragging me away from my propped up arm and my good book.

I wish he'd had a cell phone and just texted me, “I'm breaking up with you.” I think that would have suited me just fine.

Do you have an interesting break-up story?


~Tina

24 comments:

Brian Miller said...

oh goodness...so how much longer did you have to spend at the mall with him? terrible...

after finding out that my cousin slept with my girlfriend (of 2 years) in highschool i drove first to his house and sucker punched him, never saying anything, just walked right in and wham...immediately left...

when she came to the house i refused to unlock the door or let her in...only ever saw her twice after that...

at graduation, where i refused a picture opportunity with her...and at a 7-11 where she flipped me off...

best i got...

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

He was really Jim Kirk? He should've beamed you back home. Crappy way to do it.
I didn't go through too many awful breakups, mostly because I didn't date a lot of girls. Too shy.

Stephen Tremp said...

The quick easy painless no drama ways are the best. Still, breakup by text? Does seem a bit impersonal. A simple face to face will work for me.

DAVID WALSTON said...

I would have tried to get him to buy me one last thing before we left.
I did have a girl break up with me to go out with this jerk guy, who was rich, and good looking. We were still friends, and she would tell me all about how much of a jerk he was. So much so that I convinced her that she should break up with him and go back with me. It worked! We dated about another year then she had enough of me again.

A Beer For The Shower said...

I once broke up with a girl over e-mail because she had multiple personalities and when I confronted her about it, one of them e-mailed me and threatened to have me killed. It just seemed like a safer option, rather than meeting her and any of her other personalities in person. She was nice, but Nick the drug dealer sounded kind of stabby.

This was not a joke, btw. I've posted about this before.

klahanie said...

A cell phone? They allow y'all to have phones in your cell? Okay, ignore that.

And no, I wont repeat the reference to the captain of the starship Enterprise. He's Canadian, eh.

Oops, A to Z alert. Skilfully move past that, sorry.

I'm very sorry to read about your ordeal with him and your broken left wrist.

My break-up story is not interesting. Too devastating to even mention.

Must go and text somebody.

Keep smiling, Tina.

Gary

Andrew Leon said...

My only good break up story was from my side. The other good one was from a girl I wasn't dating.
heh

Rachel said...

I'm still with my first boyfriend, so I only have other people's stories. Mainly my mom's stories and things that make me sound a lot more violent than I intended to be.

Like one time, I stabbed her [now ex] in the hand with a pen. Or I hit two others. She doesn't really date. But to be fair, I warned pen guy and the other two deserved it enough that my mom was kind of proud. If you want the full stories, I can email them, but I doubt she wants her personal business in blog comments. haha

Kate @ Another Clean Slate said...

This sounds familiar ;)

I broke up with my high school boyfriend on an online chat. Not my finest moment.

JoJo said...

That was an awesome read. What a jerk though to drag you there to break it off. I wonder what ever happened to that guy...I'm surprised he's never tried to track you down.

My break up stories usually involved my utter despair over being dumped by someone I loved. The other break ups were uneventful. I had to be the one to tell my husband that, after 22 years, I was done and moving back to the east coast. That was not easy.

House Revivals said...

I once broke up with a boy at his family's vacation cabin in the mountains --which made the trip home in the car with his whole family really, really awkward... and then there was the time I found out my boyfriend had another girlfriend and went to her house and we went together to his house and broke up with him... and I broke up with my now husband and when he dropped me off that night he said "so can I pick you up tomorrow for dinner?" and I said okay and ended up married to him...

L. Diane Wolfe said...

Dumped at the mall. That is the worst. Although our gang used to go skating every Friday night and getting dumped at Skate Palace was pretty bad.

Andrea said...

Interesting? No. Heartbreaking and somewhat embarrassing...sure, loads of 'em!

Rusty Carl said...

So sorry. I was the worst boyfriend on earth when I was ready to break up, because I didn't have the heart to actually break up with anyone, for fear of hurting their feelings. My game was to be the lamest boyfriend ever, until they felt they outgrew me and could move on to someone better. WE BOTH WIN!

That never, EVER, worked the way I thought it would, by the way. But I tried it all the way up until I... oh god... I've never not ended a relationship by doing something other than that.

I'm still that bad.

Thankfully, I love my wife.

Jo said...

It's so long ago, I don't remember,I can remember being upset over various boyfriends, but I can't remember who or what at this point in time. After all I have been married for 51 years (41 with current hubby).

M. J. Joachim said...

No! No! No! Never break up with a text message or through social networking! At least have the decency to get a reaction. How else will these yahoos know they're the real problem?! I hope you called your parents or a taxi for the ride home, T.

shelly said...

But wouldn't you want closure. I would go nuts over a text message break up.

Hugs and chocolate!
Shelly

Tina said...

Please excuse the link testing...

A to Z Team @ Life is Good

Tina said...

and again...I'm so html challenged...

A to Z Team @ Blogging From A to Z Challenge 2014

Tina said...

...this should do it...
Tina @ Life is Good
A to Z Team @ Blogging From A to Z Challenge 2014

Mina Lobo said...

Inviting you to the mall only to break up with you is pretty tool-ish. It also reminds me of a (relatively recent) song by The B-52s, "Funplex." Fun tune, think you'd enjoy it.

I didn't realize I was doing this (at the time), but I appear to have broken up with a Long-Distance-Relationship via e-mail. It was pretty surreal and, actually, makes me sad to think of how much I suffered. So I won't anymore.

Sorry it's been so long since I've visited, Tina. I fell way behind on my blog reading over the holidays but want to catch up with my fave peeps online. Happy New Year to you and yours!

Silvia Villalobos said...

Oh, what a jerk. Okay, that came out too fast and easy, but I'm not taking it back. :) Yeah, I know the feeling, Tina. But now we know that was probably a blessing.

Claudia said...

ugh...not good... breaking up is best done with a clear cut... to minimize the pain... i once had a long-term boyfriend and one day, we were driving in the car i realized that i couldn't stand to sit next to him anymore... i asked him to stop..and left..

Björn said...

It sounds like you should have done it first... even better than receiving an SMS... Oh I remember the break-up when i find my (then) girl-friend in the arms of one of my best (I thought) friends... but dated so few... found the woman of life just a few weeks later. hmmm