Wednesday, July 7, 2010

If You Can't Stand the Heat...

You know how they have come up with a name for what happens to people when the days get shorter and shorter and they in turn get more and more depressed? They call is SAD. Seasonal affective disorder.  They've also come up with a partial solution. Light therapy.  I think it's time to come up with a name and treatment for what ails me. I hate summer. Truly. Hate. Summer.

I am always too hot. Always. It doesn't matter what season it is, I'm uncomfortable. You're there in your gorgeous sweater, and I'm in a t-shirt and sweaty. You cozy down under the blanket on the couch, I go change into a tank top. The Engineer sleeps in fleece pajamas, with two extra blankets under the down comforter. I sleep in a tank top, with the sheet at my waist. If I can stand it. And yes, I've been to the doctor. My thyroid is fine, dammit.

Now along comes summer. Hot, hideous, unrelenting summer. “But it's a dry heat!” Yeah, so what? It's still HEAT. What's a girl to do when she's already wearing the bare minimum of socially acceptable clothing? I take multiple showers a day, I change clothes often. I run the swamp cooler, and set up a personal fan wherever I am. I am still too hot. Surely this is a disorder. What shall we name it? I'm open to suggestions, because being this hot makes me even more depressed than what comes from the chronic pain and chronic illness. I can't come up with anything good to call this condition.

When I'm this hot, everything is a chore. I drag myself through the inertia to accomplish what must be done. Then plop back down in the wind-tunnel (our cooler blows straight down the long hallway, so that's what I nicknamed it) and try to stop dripping. Taking those showers is a lot of effort, too. And let's face it, practically useless since as soon as I towel off, I'm sweating again. It's embarrassing to always be wet. Sweat dripping down the back of my neck, down my face. Forget the make-up. Might as well not even try, because it melts away. And I have heat rash in places I'd rather not discuss.

So what shall we call this? EHD, for extreme heat depression? GRR? (Gosh, really roasting.) WET? (Wacked extreme temperature.) I don't know. But if you're hot too, let's get together. I've got a spot in the shade, a frosty beverage, and my fan. And room for you. Now all we need is a cure, faster than waiting for winter. I think I've got it! HIDE! Heat induced depression exhaustion. I'll be under the awning.

7 comments:

The Muse said...

LOL...
I hear you...
and well I am being gifted with the love hormonal transition...
LOL
so I feel the friendly fondling of heat even in the AC...!

Is there room under your awning to share?

LemonyRenee' said...

Amen, sister! I have long, long, long hated summer and all it's "trimmings" and am right there with you. And it is SO hot here by me, I don't know whether to laugh or cry.

I will definitely meet you in the shade for a frozen drink, but make it two -- one for sipping and one for holding against my forehead.
Hang in there!

5thsister said...

Oh Tina...what to do...I have cold intolerance so I can only relate from the other extreme. Fortunately summer is but one season.

purejoy said...

gah!! i feel for you. i can't imagine. i'm sitting here working in my cool home and my feet are wedged under the dachshund (on of the dirty rotten tomato thieves) to keep them warm. feet are two bricks of ice.
so sorry that you can't enjoy summer.
you are an exquisite writer, however.

stay cool…

and as for SAD, i'm totally convinced i had it this winter. dark and twisty times, i tell ya!

Brian Miller said...

ugh it is oner 100 again today...the bank clock read 113 yesterday...i may melt...

Aging Mommy said...

Great post! You and I are opposites as I love the summer heat and absolutely hate the winter cold. When it gets down into the 70's here you will find me wearing jeans, shirt and sweatshirt as it is "cold." I think I have a touch of the SAD syndrome too, as sunny days always make me feel brighter.

Jingle said...

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