These
are the continuing adventures of a Swedish immigrant during her first
year as an American. She boldly went where she'd never gone
before...please come along on Adventures
in America.
I
need a break (hahahaha) from my body cast so let's talk about
friends. I had a dilemma that year because I had two friends who
didn't like each other, but each of them liked me. Both would invite
me over to play.
Jo
(not her real name) was a “blessing” baby with much older
siblings, one of them married. She was spoiled rotten and had every
toy imaginable. She was also rather bossy. Yes, I met a lot of
bossy girls that year...probably because I kept my own bossiness
totally hidden as I adjusted to all the other changes...didn't really
have the balls to boss anyone around when I was trying so desperately
to fit in. She'd let me play with her FABULOUS toys, but would stop
me on a whim and make me play with some other toy. Yeah.
Jamie
(not her name either) was the oldest and had more siblings than I
remember. She lived in a very old house, with very few toys, but was
a sweetheart, and we'd play imaginary games.
Whose
invitation would I accept? What would I say to the other girl? It
was a serious dilemma for a nine-year old. I played with them both,
and of course they each came to my house to play. However, it was a
several times a week sorta deal to work out and it was exhausting.
Now if I could just have made a trio of us, then all my problems
would be solved. (I would later learn, with another set of friends,
that this solves nothing, in fact, it only creates more drama...)
I
was totally shocked that I found pictures of both of them in Mom's
photo album.
From left to right: Swissie, DataBoy, Me, Jo
This one really has no left to rights...so...um...I'm in green, Jamie is hugging me, DataBoy is in brown and Swissie is sticking her head out...
Have you had friend dilemmas? How did YOU solve them?
27 comments:
It seems like I only ever had one close friend at a time. I don't remember any dilemmas as you had.
I am really enjoying your adventures!
tm
Hi Tina .. I don't really remember, though there were three of us for a few teenage years .. I've always mixed and matched and tried to include everyone ... never having lived in a neighbourhood as such ... ie away at school, and then not having children .. friendships are scattered from around the world and here in the UK ...
I think I missed out on life probably .. but who knows we do our best as kids ... I probably didn't think too much!
Cheers and I can see you were experiencing all sorts of emotions .. Hilary
i have one friend since i was like 7, we are still friends... he is a not a good friend... i have better friends like you...
ha. i dont do well with bossiness honestly..i would have found my own way at that point...where i grew up i was kin to everyone in teh neighborhood...which led to fun & fights and the next day was a blank page...
Haha...loved the post...reminded me of some childhood memories....that age is real fun...:):)
And the dilemma remains the same across the globe :D
Loved the pictures...I'm going to dig out my photo album today :D
Thanks for sharing this lovely post!!!
Glad!! :):)
Kriti
I had to make that bottom picture bigger b/c it was hard to tell what the heck you were doing! lol
Oh yeah, the friend dilemma and the 'trio' never works out so well when you are a kid. Someone always gets left out or ganged up on at some point. I had a 'friend' in elementary school who was just like 'Jo'. She's the one I mentioned who had the hip replacement. She was spoiled rotten before (also a blessing baby) but she was insufferable after her surgery. We are now adults and I haven't seen her since high school but my mom runs into her mom. Apparently Kathy would love to get together w/ me sometime (she's not on FB or social media) but I want nothing to do w/ a reunion b/c she was so rotten to me when I look back on our playdates.
Guys can hang out in groups easier and without the drama. Bonus for us!
Of the two, think I would've picked Jamie.
Trios were the worst as girls. Inevitably two of the three would get into a disagreement at some point and both would pressure the third to take their side and get upset if she talked to "the enemy". But drama and girls go together. Always have and probably always will. I've always believed boys are luckier in that regard.
Its so long ago, I don't remember having problems like that. But I can see it would be difficult for a child trying to adapt to a new country.
JO ON FOOD, MY TRAVELS AND A SCENT OF CHOCOLATE
Yes. I remember the dilemmas of childhood and at the tender age of 9, they seem like the end of the world. I was always the follower and would do whatever I was told to do by, who I considered to be, my best friend. Looking back I can see I probably lost a lot of true friends that way. Thanks for this reminder. I loved the photos. I can't wait to read more. :)
#1335
A to Z April Blogging Challenge
http://mauldinfamily1.wordpress.com/2013/04/11/j-is-for-joy/
Very interesting post. I think one of the reasons I keep to myself so much is that good friends are hard to come by. I had one really good friend when I grew up. All the other girls were annoying. I have one really good friend (other than my husband) now. Basically, I'm really picky and it takes a lot for me to get close to someone. I'm not shy, and I can talk to anyone, but I don't wish to deal with a bunch of people.
There are some things that you cant change - the threesome with girls is one of those doesn't work never will
Fun to stop back through to see the progression of her life
My only friend problems were that my mom always didn't like my best friends.
Oh, I vividly remember the drama three girls can produce. I wasn't in the middle all the time like you, instead my two friends and I always seemed to pick on one of the three of us, and it rotated, but it was always very dramatic to find that you were the third wheel that day/week/whatever.
I think friend dilemmas are a requirement for growing up! Some worked themselves out, some were worked out by PCS'ing (moving, when there someone's parent received a Permanent Change of Station), and some never ever ever got resolved.
Lyre at Lyre's Musings
Oh, trios never work and yeah,found that out the hard way, a couple of times, you think it would only take once to figure it out LOL. Those photos are great :)
Lucy from Lucy's Reality
I remember that my first childhood friend dumped me in high school. I was angry but ended up feeling sorry for her when she left home for her grandmother's because her father had abused her.
Yes, one time two friends got so mad at each other, they asked me to pick sides -- are you her friend or my friend? I walked away, pouting, and they eventually worked it out.
For me, these kinds of dilemmas have resulted from divorce. Who to visit? Who to invite to dinner? Who to remain close with? I finally just called both of them and said, "I can't give up either of you, so get over it!"
Me, never, but my daughter did. Her soccer team had several cliques, which overlapped with her...and it was an issues numerous times. :)
I seem to remember some serious drama between you, me, and T (while there's little danger she'll read this, we'll still call her Temper.../grin). Fortunately, my girls seem to have navigated those times without much drama.
And the oldest still has the 2 Besties from 5th grade (they're 1st year college now)
I seem to remember some serious drama between you, me, and T (while there's little danger she'll read this, we'll still call her Temper.../grin). Fortunately, my girls seem to have navigated those times without much drama.
And the oldest still has the 2 Besties from 5th grade (they're 1st year college now)
I seem to remember some serious drama between you, me, and T (while there's little danger she'll read this, we'll still call her Temper.../grin). Fortunately, my girls seem to have navigated those times without much drama.
And the oldest still has the 2 Besties from 5th grade (they're 1st year college now)
I had two friends from elementary to high school, thank god they got along!
Apropos Swedish immigrants to America: Do you know the 4-volume work of Vilhelm Moberg (The Emigrants, The Settlers ... Last Letter Home). Very good books >:)
Cold As Heaven
Oh man. The three women problem.. I used to run a women's dorm on a college campus and we had triple rooms. The roommate conflicts were EPIC.
Funny that we both picked Jo as our J name :)
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