K ~ Kickball

These are the continuing adventures of a Swedish immigrant during her first year as an American. She boldly went where she'd never gone before...please come along on Adventures in America.

I alluded to the fact that there would be more tears and they'd be about kickball. Horrid game. I'm using the format of a letter to my former teachers...sorta. I would never send something this...snarky. Probably wouldn't...

Dear Teacher Who Has Never Really Bothered to Get to Know Me:

I'm from a different country. We play different games. Our games have different rules. It would be nice if we're going to play an AMERICAN game, if SOMEONE would be so kind as to explain to me what the purpose is, what the game play involves, and what the rules are. If you don't, I'm not going to know what's going on, and am going to make some assumptions.

For example, though there's no bat, and the ball is much larger, there are bases to run around, a pitcher, and a home plate. So I think that it must be sort of like Brännboll (Burn Ball) and apply those rules. I figured close enough.

As you would have observed, had you even been observing, was that the rules were completely different and that no matter what I did, the other kids all screamed at me. “Why aren't you running?” (because that was a lame hit, you wait for a good hit, and then go, many players can occupy the same base) “Go back you idiot!” (Why? Just because he kicked it foul doesn't mean I lose my progress. I made it to 2^nd base!) And so on. I couldn't make a single correct move. Having 8 other people yell at you is not a fun experience.

Thanks for your consideration,

Tina

Dear P.E Teacher,

You really disappointed me. I thought that if we're playing kickball in a CLASS and not at recess, there'd be some TEACHING involved. Perhaps a review of the rules. I see plenty of cheaters during recess kickball, they could definitely use a review, not just the foreign chick who doesn't understand this inane game anyway. Your, “We all know the rules, so let's just play kickball!” didn't cut it for me. That's why I said I was going to throw up and asked to go to the nurse. It wasn't a lie, I really did feel like throwing up at the thought of all of them yelling at me again.

Thanks for your help,

Tina

Looking back, of course I should have ASKED someone to explain the game to me, but it had installed such terror in me I was paralyzed whenever we had to play. Well, not paralyzed, but I usually had some malady that caused me to have to sit out...