This blogging journey (that I feel like I'm still on the first lap of) has brought a lot of growth to my self-esteem. Before you get all blustery thinking I'm bragging, let me explain. I'm a recoverING anorexic (like alcoholism, it's always with you, and unlike alcoholics who can just quit completely, those of us who struggle with food, can't quit food completely. Well, not anymore. I already did that, and therein lay my problem ;-) But writing, and even being brave enough to write about that , has brought healing. I'm still pretty hesitant out there, though.
That might not make sense to those of you dear readers who've been with me since 2009. I come across as rather arrogant and self-confident at times. But have you seen my face? It's on my blog once, hidden behind my YellowBoy, in Alaska, and I only included it because it had almost our entire group AND the glacier. Not only was there safety in numbers, it was on an Alphabe-Thursday where everyone is running hell bent for leather all over cyberland trying to visit as many blogs as possible, so I thought I was pretty safe. One or two people commented. And that's how I wanted it.
Now I'm feeling better. Don't know if it's being over a year removed from the job loss which sent me spinning into a pit of despair, or also a year removed from the whooping cough which left me winded and on the side-lines. I am still dealing with the hip thing, but I thank God that the pain is down to a 3 or 4 (out of 10) and that's a place where I can live for a while. After all, I've lived with my fused wrist and its chronic regional pain syndrome for eleven years now, and on a good day, it's a 6. But I'm not just talking physically better. I feel better on the depression scale, too. (Chronic pain and depression have one of those chicken/egg relationships...) So without further ado, I give you: me.
I took no less than 47 self-portraits. I'm willing for you to see this one. I'm a work in progress. If you're interested in the other stories I alluded to...help yourself.