After reading a list of suggested words, there were several that popped, but SAVOR popped especially brightly for me. I've spent some time with Sarah Ban Breathnach and her amazing ideas of Simple Abundance and Excavating Your Authentic Self and the idea of taking the time to enjoy what you have and appreciate the moment, struck me as appropriate for where I am right NOW. Which certainly isn't where I thought I'd be. And certainly not where I wanted to be on 12/1/09. But here on 2/8/10 with a little time gone by and a few (ok, a lot) of tears shed, and some prayer and contemplation, and howling at the moon, and good talks with the friends who not only listen, but help you process, I'm thinking THIS gig ain't bad. I've decided to savor it.
So for some examples:
I've savored cleaning the boys bathroom. Yes, actually, I have. It took some figuring out...but here's how. Bruce Springsteen, REALLY loud. And you need some back story. I have a bum wrist. It's fused. Due to constant pain that I've only a few short months ago FINALLY found the answer to, I am now able to actually clean! For the last ten years I haven't been able to. I've had to find money in the budget to pay for cleaning help. (Now, I will confess, this didn't bother me one bit. I LOVED MY CLEANING GIRLS. I DIDN'T MISS CLEANING.) But, if savor is your word, and you are scrubbing dried pee off a toilet yourself for the first time in ten years, then what you tell yourself is wow, my wrist doesn't hurt anymore, and wow, I can actually do this, and gee, I now have that money to spend on something else. (Which when you're laid off it's going to be exciting things like the mortgage and groceries, but still.) And since I had the time, I emptied all the cabinets and drawers and gave them a working over, because you know, once every ten years, whether you need to or not, you just should.
And then I smiled over a job well done. And Diamond saying, "You did a kickass job on the bathroom, Mom!" And I didn't correct his language. I savored the praise instead.
I savored the dinner I made the other night. All the steps of making it. Even knowing that YellowBoy would take one look and go fix himself his usual ramen. I swear that boy is going to turn into a bowl of noodle soup. I savored the glass of chardonnay I drank while chopping veggies. I savored the lovely aromas as it cooked. I savored that three of us would enjoy it. I love cooking, but I usually fret over what one will say, forgetting what the other three of us will think. I've turned it around.
I've even figured out (almost at least) how to savor carline. You'd think that at a Christian school the parents would follow the rules (and they're really quite simple people)(and designed for easy traffic flow and with common courtesy in mind) but alas, this is not always the case. So I've abdicated car line completely and just park. In the lot. And my children come to the car. But I'm still there waiting and it gets annoying so I still need to savor. So I savor the last few moments of peace. I play a favorite song on my iPod (and savor the fact that I can still pay the bill) and bring something to read (lately my sister's cast off People magazines which are so highly entertaining in such an inappropriate way) and just try to enjoy the moment.
So for 2010, I'm going to be concentrating on this one thing. SAVOR. In all areas of my life. Savoring life. The life God has given me. The family He has given me.
After all, I'm always in His hands, wouldn't He want me to savor that?