Wednesday, January 23, 2013

How to Wake a Family, The Hard Way


I don't know how I ended up being everyone's personal alarm clock, and that many of you out there will scoff and say, “She's SUCH an enabler. It's her own dang fault.” They're probably right. Which is why I'm so irritated...

So imagine this scene. I get up at 5 am, and start studying, because I study best in the morning when it's dark, and quiet, and I light my candle, and it's cozy. Sort of. Because studying isn't my only responsibility.

I am aware that (names have been changed to protect the irritating) that "The Accountant" needs to be out the door by 6:15, for a meeting, one of the "Teenagers" needs to be in the shower by a time not close to THAT and that other "Teenager" is going to be impossible to get up because he has homework to finish. I have a timer on my iPhone. I set it to BEGIN the laborious process of waking up an accountant. “Just give me ten more minutes.” I have of course planned for this, so that he can go back to sleep and not be late. I set the timer for ten minutes.

Ok, what was I studying? Oh, I left my pencil on the bedside table. Dang. Fetch pencil. Try to find spot in study. Timer goes off after about 3 minutes of actually accomplishing anything. “Ten more minutes please.” Reset timer. Realize that reset timer will not coincide with time Teenager needs to hit shower. At least that one sets his alarm. But turns it off. And falls back asleep, but when I knock on his door he will stumble to the shower and say thanks, Mom. One down, two to go.

Still trying to study. Repeated attempts to get The Accountant out of bed. I know he's tired. He stayed up way too late trying to get the car fixed so that it would be drive-able in morning. Finally I just pull off the “band-aid” (also known as sheets) and not so kindly say, “You're 20 minutes behind schedule! GET IN THE SHOWER!” “Why didn't you wake me up??”

I don't dare answer that one because there are children still in the house and murder and mayhem are best performed with no witnesses. So is the language I preferred to use at this time. Two down.

Believe it or not, the hardest is still to come. But I'll spare you the whining, the complaining, the bargaining, the denial, the tears, the procrastination, and the eventual completion of very little homework.
Not that I got much done either this particular morning.

So alarm clocks for all my men? Individual accountability for all over 13? I think so. But here's some advice I got in the wedding journal that all my shower attendees filled out with their best wedded bliss advice:

What you find endearing about him now will drive you about flippin' insane in 20 years.” Gee, and I thought that we both liked to sleep in was a good thing...

Don't start doing something for your husband unless you plan to do it for the rest of your marriage.”

Honey, will you wake me up tomorrow, instead of me having to set the alarm?” “Sure, honey, no problem.”

I think I'll start the training of the teens. Like immediately. I'm already dreading tomorrow morning when I need to be TEACHING the class I was trying to study for...

Do you wake your spouse? Do you drag teens out of bed? Or are they the ones dragging YOU? Curious. And feel free to criticize my parenting at will. Your marriage advice better be dang good though...

~ Tina

P.S Teaching Matthew, Part 2, Chapters 14-28.  Precepts.  Good stuff, man.  If you can do it without being interrupted...

14 comments:

Alex J. Cavanaugh said...

No, my alarm goes off and we both get out of bed.
My wife doesn't even make my lunches. Everyone at work thinks that's odd.
Think you need to invest in new alarm clocks, ones that play music REALLY loud.

Brian Miller said...

ha. i am the first up...and then my wife (to her alarm) and then i let her get the boys up...as she is much more gentle than i am...ha....too funny

shelly said...

I hate to tell you this but my hubby wakes up at 7 am every morning on his own. However, my last daughter to leave home, my 23 yr-old, who left right after Christmas has never been able to get out of bed on her own. Per her hubby, it hasn't changed.

Hugs and chocolate,
Shelly

JoJo said...

I've never really had this problem before. My ex always got up when he needed to be. Russell isn't home that much. The only time I wake him is when he needs to leave to go on the road and is napping. He is good about getting up when I wake him. My problem is that I can't tear him away from the TV. Whenever we are going some place, he's all ready to go - shoes and jacket on, and just standing there watching TV. Meanwhile I'm standing at the door jingling the keys impatiently.

Juli said...

"and murder and mayhem are best performed with no witnesses." THAT right there is the best advice for any mother/wife. :)

I wake the kids here too... but I must say that it's not a burden as of yet. Tony is 46... he can get his own butt out of bed, and since he's a freak about being on time, it's usually an hour early.

Yolanda Renee said...

Great post, such fun!

I never have to wake my hubby, some mornings he's up at 4:00 AM and does everything in the dark to let me sleep. He does require me to cook for him though, and yes sometimes it leaves me a little peeved -- but I guess if he's bring home the bacon I can cook it. Just don't get me started on the repair work that needs done, or the gardening, etc. :)

Hilary Melton-Butcher said...

Hi Tina - I too have always been the responsible one .. but I don't have a house of anyone - nor do I need to go anywhere .. so standards are slipping - but when the time comes I get up and go - all of my own accord.

It'd drive me nutty with your 3 men - leave them one day and see what happens ... but they must have coped when you weren't well ...

Good luck with sorting it out .. and I do hope you can get some writing done in future .. cheers Hilary

Jenn ßritton said...

My husband gets up with the kids because he is able to go back to sleep....and I'm not. The school bus comes at 6:45. 6:45! Way too early if you ask me. But nobody asked me. :)
But here's what happens ...my teenage son wakes him up after he showers so that my husband can get my daughter up. She's a pill in the morning.
After I wake up I have to try to get the husband up. It takes about 5-73 times. Yes, he has an alarm, but turns it off instead of hitting snooze. Then I too get "why didn't you wake me up earlier?! "

Jo said...

I too am lucky, hubby never has to be woken, he is always up first. Not that it matters a lot these days except when we have early doctor appointments. However, I am damned if I would take responsibility for waking him on a regular basis like that. Or the kids. Maybe if they get in trouble for being late a few times, or for not having homework done, it will wake them up enough to take their own responsibility.

HeatherL said...

Until recently, I've had to drag my teen out of her bed every morning. Then I stopped. I told her if she wasn't able to get herself up and out the door then she was on her own and I wouldn't drive her to school and she'd miss out on her after school activity. It only took one time (well so far - I only recently started this). This has reduced my morning stress to just about zero.

My little one gets up on her own although I occasionally have to give her a nudge.

As for my husband. He is much better at getting up than I am and often times is giving me a nudge after I've spent 40 minutes or so hitting the snooze button!

Annalisa Crawford said...

Hubby's up first, I hang in bed til the last possible moment. #2 son jumps out of bed quite easily, #1 son needs about 40 minutes' warning... which always makes him late for his friend who calls for him on the way to school.

Mornings are not fun, whatever house you live in!

Arlee Bird said...

I always wake my wife up. I tend to usually get up before the alarm goes off and I'll do a few things. Then I'll wake my wife up a few seconds before the alarm is scheduled to go off, then wait to see what they're playing on the radio when it does go off. It's very rare that I'll sleep until the alarm goes off.

Lee
A Faraway View

Shannon Lawrence said...

Well, that doesn't sound like fun. The only one who is less of a morning person than me is my daughter, so I've got it good. Hubby and Son are up and at 'em in the AM. Good luck on their training! And on the class.

Shannon at The Warrior Muse

House Revivals said...

The first time I took a trip alone, my engineer slept till noon, missed his morning meetings,and (obviously) got the kids to school very late. They also ate the frozen meals I had prepared in advance, and had the house cleaned by a cleaning service I had arranged for that week. When I got home, my husband told me taking care of the kids and the house and the meals wasn't that hard....